It has been a while.
Its a new year, and the struggles of last year have come and gone. Over the last year I realized the struggle is inevitable. There is no "right" time that is going to come. Perfection is unrealistic and a flawed way of thinking. The good times will ebb and flow, so will the bad.
As a horseback rider I know you always have to get back in the saddle no matter how many times you fall off, so here I am. Why do I allow the bad to control me so much more than the good? Why is the good so easily dismissed and the bad so devastating?
I've learned a lot over the years here at weight watchers. I've been through so many versions of the system, momentum, points plus, 360. However, it always rings true and always works, and when I do my best, I lose weight and am at my best health. I've found what I have to keep in mind is that there is no failure, just feedback. If I don't ever completely give up, I have not failed. Eating a few meals and going into the red and gaining one week are all just things that will inevitably happen, these are not failures. These are markers that I need to reassess what I am eating, drinking, and where I am physically and emotionally. This feedback means I need to remember the goal, remember what I can control in my life and what I can't. I need to remember that I have all the tools, I just need to dust off that tool box and start working on repairs again.
I've found that I need to learn that progress comes in many forms. Lessons learned sometimes need to be learned again and again. In the grand scheme of things, one night of weakness at a restaurant or bar will not, and should not, dictate the next few months, weeks, days or even the next meal I have that day. My successes weigh as much as my slip ups, each pound lost is as great a success. If I'm going to learn to live this way, I can not expect each bite to be perfect, the next bite will not dictate my entire future.
My successes are also a form of feedback, and I need to hear and see that feedback as much as I need to hear the feedback from faltering. I need to listen carefully to what my body is trying to tell me it needs and doesn't need, and adjust from there. Rather than giving up at the first sign of failure, I need to face that failure head on. Instead of ignoring the success as routine, I need to celebrate it as much as I need to face the failure, I need to face the success. It IS great that I lost .4 this week, it IS wonderful these pants fit again. I need to feel pride in those moments and they matter as much as the moments that I am not so proud of.
So here's to a new year filled with meetings, lessons, and feedback.